It was late on a Saturday afternoon in Hebden Bridge, post-walk, coffee in hand, quietly unwinding after a long hike to Stoodley Pike. At the next table, a young man was scribbling in a notebook. Eventually, I caught his eye and asked, “I’m curious, what are you writing?”
He said he was writing poetry. He’d grown up in local authority care and now worked with care leavers. As he spoke, it was clear how deeply he cared about his work and the young people he supported. He paused for a moment, then asked me:
“What about you? What do you care about?”
Not what do you do? But - what do you care about?
As a leadership coach, I listen out for great questions. And this one made me smile. I answered warmly, talking about family, the children at our school in Nepal, music, and my work. It got me thinking about how powerful and clarifying this question is.
Because here’s the thing:
👉🏼 We all act according to our concerns, whether we’re conscious of them or not.
👉🏼 We lead based on what we care about, whether it’s security, justice, belonging, reputation, family, or impact.
These domains of human concern, originally framed by Fernando Flores and developed further by Alan Sieler, are always at play in our work and lives. When we feel they’re being honoured, we feel energised and engaged. When they’re under threat or neglected, we can become anxious, reactive, disengaged or simply stuck.
Leading with deeper self-awareness
In coaching conversations with senior leaders, I’ve seen how powerful it is to pause and reflect on these concerns, not just in others, but in ourselves. Sometimes we notice it when we feel out of sorts. Other times when something we thought would bring us joy leaves us strangely flat.
Understanding what we care about, what matters to us, can be hugely helpful in enhancing our self-awareness and understanding what guides our actions, priorities and motivations.
Understanding these domains helps us make sense of our strong emotional responses, recurring challenges, or even the quiet discontent that sometimes follows us through what others may regard as successes to be celebrated.
Whether you're coaching a senior leader through change or reflecting on your own leadership path, asking which domain is at play can unlock clarity and compassion.
When you read through the domains of concern you may want to reflect on:
🔹What stands out to me? What do I notice?
🔹Which areas of concern do I recognise as going well and as I would like?
🔹Which areas of concern aren’t going so well right now and are not as I’d like?
🔹What would I like for my future in this area of concern?
The 13 Domains of Human Concern:
1️⃣ Body
Concerns about health, energy, safety, and physical presence.
How do I feel in my body? Do I have the energy I need to meet life’s demands?
2️⃣ Play / Aesthetics
Our desire for joy, creativity, fun, beauty, and emotional enrichment.
Where is there space for fun or appreciation in my life right now?
3️⃣ Sociability
Building and maintaining relationships, trust, and human connection.
Do I feel connected to others? Who are my trusted companions?
4️⃣ Family
The quality and care of family life, parenting, partnership, and kinship.
Am I investing in the relationships that matter most to me?
5️⃣ Work
Meaningful contribution, professional identity, and growth.
Is my work aligned with who I want to be and what I value?
6️⃣ Money / Prudence
Financial stability, planning, and managing resources wisely.
Am I secure and responsible with what I have? Do I feel anxious or at ease?
7️⃣ Education
Desire for learning, personal development, and intellectual curiosity.
Am I growing? What am I learning about the world, about myself?
8️⃣ Dignity
Self-respect, recognition, and being treated fairly.
Do I feel seen, valued, and respected? Where do I feel unseen or dismissed?
9️⃣ Situation
Living conditions, environment, and the basic structures of daily life.
Is my environment supporting me or limiting me? Do I feel safe and resourced?
🔟 Spirituality
Connection to values, purpose, meaning, and the bigger picture.
What guides me? What do I believe in, beyond the day-to-day?
1️⃣1️⃣ Self-worth
Confidence, self-regard, and a sense of value.
Do I feel enough? How do I get grounded and build a sense of stability?
1️⃣2️⃣ World
Care for global issues, social justice, and future generations.
What kind of world am I helping to create? What’s my impact beyond myself?
1️⃣3️⃣ Membership
Belonging to communities, tribes, cultures, and causes.
Where do I feel I belong? Where do I feel like an outsider?
Why does this matter in leadership?
In leadership, we often respond to what’s visible - behaviour, performance and outcomes. But what drives people (and ourselves) runs much deeper. A team member might resist a change not because they’re unwilling, but because it threatens their sense of belonging. A leader might micromanage not out of wanting to control, but from anxiety about self-worth or financial security.
When we don’t understand what matters to people, we risk missing what’s actually going on.
By contrast, when leaders and coaches attune to the deeper concerns, they:
🔹Respond with greater compassion and clarity
🔹Ask more insightful and powerful questions
🔹Empower others to reflect, shift perspective, and grow
🔹Build more trusting, high-performing teams
Coaching with concerns in mind
Ontological coaches are trained to listen not just to what is said, but to what concerns are shaping it. For example:
“I just can’t trust my manager anymore.”
This might point to concerns in sociability, dignity, or even self-worth. A coach might explore:
💬What was happening when you did trust them?
💬What changed?
💬What’s missing for you?
💬What matters to you that’s not being taken care of?
💬What standards of trust are you applying?
💬What is this assessment of no longer trusting them taking care of for you?
This is about deepening awareness, agency, and emotional learning.
Final thought
In coaching conversations, and in life, we often start with what happened: a missed deadline, a difficult conversation, a dip in team morale.
We all have our own blend of dominant concerns, understanding what yours is hugely helpful in understanding yourself. In one season, family might be central. In another, work or learning.
Sometimes, we lose sight of what we care about most. These moments can leave us feeling in a crisis - out at sea, tossed by the waves.
Taking time to reflect on these domains can be a powerful compass helping us reestablish and prioritise what for us are priorities so we can have the life and work we want
Leading With Awareness in Uncertain Times
