Ever had one of those moments where you thought you were perfectly clear, only to discover people came away with different ideas of what you meant?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It's easy to assume what we've said is clear and will create the action and alignment we expect. But language isn’t unbiased and value free, it's not just about transmitting information, it’s about creating meaning, and through our language we create what happens.
Philosophers John Searle and Fernando Flores have explored language deeply. Their work on speech acts highlights that words don’t just describe the world; they actually shape what happens next.
How Leadership & Speech Acts Intersect
Flores built on Searle’s work to define five key categories of speech acts that all of us use every day:
1️⃣ Assertions – Statements we make about what is true, or what we claim is true. These shape credibility and influence. Leaders who communicate well ensure their assertions can be backed up with evidence.
2️⃣ Requests – Asking for something to be done. Leaders who communicate well ensure their requests are clear, time bound and specific.
3️⃣ Promises – Commitments to future action. Leaders can build or erode trust through their follow through on promises.
4️⃣ Declarations – Words that create a new reality (from tomorrow we will xxx) providing the person making the declaration has the position and the power to ensure the declaration is acted on.
5️⃣ Assessments – Opinions or judgments. Leaders who use assessments constructively are clear about the difference between assessments and assertions, and seek to ground assessments in evidence, whilst having clarity about the standards being applied.
Language in action
With all this in mind, I've recently re read Pride and Prejudice. The comedy and speech acts leapt from the page for me as I noticed the many examples of how language is used by the characters, and the realities language creates and shifts.
I've selected some scenes to demonstrate the speech acts identifies by Flores and their impact which I hope give not only food for thought, but enjoyment too!
1️⃣ Assertions: The Power (and Danger) of Stating “Facts”
🔹 Mr. Darcy’s First Proposal to Elizabeth Bennet:
"My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Mr. Darcy asserts his love for Elizabeth as an undeniable truth, but his assertion is laced with judgment about her social status and family, turning what could have been an invitation into an insult. He assumes his statement will lead to acceptance, but Elizabeth sees it differently, rejecting him outright.
Everyday Leadership Application:
Assertions are powerful—they influence how others perceive us and make decisions. But if they aren’t backed by evidence or delivered with awareness, they can create confusion or conflict.
✅ Good leaders make well-grounded assertions. Instead of saying, “This strategy is the best way forward,” they provide evidence:
👉 “Our customer data shows a 30% increase in engagement with this approach. Based on these results, I believe this is the best way forward.”
✅ Good leaders distinguish assertions from assessments. Saying, “Our competitor is failing,” without evidence is an opinion, not a fact. Strong leaders clarify their reasoning and invite discussion.
✅ Good leaders recognise when others challenge an assertion. If someone pushes back, they listen, clarify, and adjust as needed rather than assuming their perspective is the only valid one.
Just like Darcy had to learn that his assumptions weren’t facts, leaders must ensure their assertions are not just declarations of personal belief but well-reasoned statements that others can trust and act upon.
2️⃣ Requests: Why “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work
🔹 Lady Catherine de Bourgh to Elizabeth Bennet:
"Do not consider it. Do not give him encouragement."
Lady Catherine arrives and issues a command, fully expecting compliance from Elizabeth. Elizabeth sees it for what it is - a request; and isn't having any of it. She realises Lady Catherine is over reaching.
Lady Catherine assumes because she holds positional power, her words will be enough to get Elizabeth to act as she would wish. But her request is unreasonable, and Elizabeth refuses.
Everyday Leadership Application:
Good requests are:
🔹 Reasonable and fair
🔹 Clear
🔹 Time bound
🔹 The outcome required is clearly set out for the listener
🔹 The requester provides time and space for questions and clarity
When leaders aren’t specific, people either hesitate (afraid of getting it wrong) or they take action, but perhaps not in the way the leader expected.
✅ Good leaders make clear requests. Instead of saying, “We need this ASAP,” their requests are clear:
👉 “Please finalise the report by Thursday at 3 PM, so we have time to review it before Friday’s client meeting.”
The more precise the request, the more likely it is to be done right, the first time.
✅ Good leaders listen when colleagues raise legitimate concerns about why a request can't be carried out in the way expected.
✅ Good leaders have clear boundaries and hold the line on ethical and compliance issues, ensuring values and standards aren't compromised because of an inappropriate request.
3️⃣ Commitments: The Currency of Trust
🔹 George Wickham makes promises he doesn't or can’t keep, damaging relationships and his reputation forever. He commits to relationships and to accounts he cannot pay and in time people see him for what he is.
In leadership, our promises shape how others experience us. A leader who follows through builds credibility. A leader who breaks commitments, whether intentionally or not, erodes trust quickly.
Everyday Leadership Application?
Have you ever noticed yourself or others making vague commitments?
🔹 'We need to address this next year.'
🔹 'There’s definitely some learning here which we'll build on.'
🔹 'We want to see improvements.'
🔹 'I'll pass that on...'
Alan Sieler refers to these as ‘slippery promises.’ For the listener - be alert to when you hear a 'slippery promise' and ask questions for clarity. Better to know now if there's no commitment than be disappointed later.
✅ Be intentional and clear with your promises. If you do commit, follow through.
✅ Listen out for intentional promises from others.
✅ If you can't commit, say so.
4️⃣ Assessments: How Framing Changes Everything
🔹 Elizabeth’s Response to Darcy’s Letter:
"I had not thought Mr. Darcy so bad as this, though I have never liked him, I had not thought so very ill of him."
After reading Darcy’s letter, Elizabeth reassesses her judgment of him. Initially, she had framed him as arrogant and untrustworthy, but new evidence forces her to reconsider. Her previous assessments were based on incomplete information, shaped by bias and misunderstanding.
Everyday Leadership Application:
Assessments are opinions, not facts, but they shape decisions and relationships. Effective leaders:
Ever had a performance review that left you feeling deflated, not motivated?
Imagine a manager saying:
🔹 “You’ve made progress, but honestly, I didn’t think you’d improve this much.”
Or, after a big project:
🔹 “That went well. Shockingly well, actually.”
Ouch. Even if the intent was positive, the assessments and prejudices damage what could have been positive and the impact.
✅ Clarify the difference between assessments and assertions. Instead of saying, "Our new strategy is a failure," they ask, "Based on what evidence are we making this assessment?"
✅ Ensure assessments are well-grounded and are clear about the standards they are applying. Leaders who base judgments on assumptions rather than facts risk making poor decisions. Instead of assuming, they seek data and multiple perspectives.
✅ Recognise that assessments can change. Like Elizabeth, leaders must be open to updating their views when new information arises.
✅ Check how your words land. Before giving feedback or delivering an important message, ask yourself:
👉 Is this likely to have the impact I want?
👉 Are my assessments based in solid evidence.
👉 Will sharing them now help in achieving the outcome I want?
👉 How will the other person hear this?
Assessments influence how we treat others and how decisions are made. By being aware of how they frame situations, leaders can ensure they are evaluating people, strategies, and challenges with fairness and clarity.
5️⃣ Declarations: Words That Shape Reality
🔹 Elizabeth and Darcy’s wedding vows at the novel’s end are not just words, they change reality.
Leaders make declarations all the time:
🔹 “We’re introducing a new product for our clients.”
🔹 “We’re implementing a new professional development plan.”
Essential to effective declarations is that the leader has the authority to bring their declarations into being. For Searle and Flores, the words are said and the world then changes.
Everyday Leadership Application:
Declarations can be hugely powerful in bringing about positive change in the world.
✅ Before making a declaration check in with:
👉 Do I have the authority to make this declaration?
👉 What actions will support this?
👉 How will we make this declaration real?
How Coaches Listen to Language in Leadership
A skilled coach doesn’t just listen to what a leader says, they pay close attention to how they say it. The way a leader frames requests, makes commitments, and expresses opinions reveals underlying patterns that shape their influence and effectiveness. Coaches listen for ambiguities, unexamined assumptions, and speech acts that may be unintentionally undermining trust or clarity.
A coach might notice that a leader frequently says, “I hope the team gets this done,” rather than making a clear request or commitment. They might ask:
✅ How did you make this request?
✅ What meaning did the team take from this request?
✅ How did you check the team understood the expectations?
On commitments and promises a coach might ask:
✅ What did you actually commit to?
✅ What did the other person commit to?
✅ Did you ‘hear’ a commitment that wasn’t actually made?
By reflecting on these questions, leaders gain greater self-awareness about their communication style and its impact. A coach helps with noticing and refining speech acts so their requests are clear, their commitments are credible, and their declarations align with action. This enables leaders to act with greater confidence and effectiveness.
Final Takeaway: Leadership Is About Language
Leaders don’t just talk, they shape reality with their words. Noticing how we use language, being clear about our intentions and how others may be listening/making meaning of what we say can help hugely in developing good relationships and communication.
✔️ Make clear requests. Don’t assume people know what you mean.
✔️ Be intentional with commitments. Every promise creates expectations.
✔️ Ground assessments carefully. Words shape perception and motivation.
✔️ Back up declarations with action. Declarations with good follow through can bring about changes in the world!
Next time you’re in a leadership moment, whether giving feedback, making a request, or setting a vision, perhaps pause.
Are you just speaking? Or are you creating the reality you want?
Because, in leadership (as in Pride and Prejudice), words shape everything.
🔹 Which of these speech acts do you see most often in leadership? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
#Leadership #Communication #SpeechActs #Trust #Influence #Teamwork
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