Ever found yourself stuck, brimming with potential yet hesitant, or wondering why a team member just won’t engage? The answer may lie in the mood we’re bringing to our world.
Alan Sieler identifies six foundational moods of life, building on original work by Fernando Flores. Each mood outlined emerges from our assessments about:
Facticity – What we believe cannot be changed
Possibility – What we believe is (or isn’t) possible
Uncertainty – How we relate to the unknown
Alan Sieler explains:
‘Moods and emotions can be regarded as pre-dispositions for action. We always act from some emotional state. Some moods and emotions predispose, or incline us, more towards certain actions and not others.’
These moods aren’t just fleeting emotions, they are emotions that persist over time, potentially for decades! They are linguistic, emotional, and physical ways of being that frame what we believe is possible and shape our capacity for action.
The word emotion is derived from the latin, motere, meaning to move. Our emotions are drivers of our actions. We do ourselves and others a great disservice if we fail to develop our self-awareness and ability to notice and when necessary shift our emotions creating choices and resourceful approaches to our lives and work.
Having recently listened again (yes again!) to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, the rich descriptions of the characters' internal concerns and questions, spoken language, emotional spaces and physiological/postural embodiment of their moods jumped out from every exchange.
So, here are some examples from Jane Austen’s sharp and witty observations!
✳️Resentment: Opposing what we believe cannot be changed.
Assessment: Something shouldn't be the way it is, and someone else is to blame.
"I have every reason in the world to think ill of you." – Elizabeth Bennet to Mr. Darcy (initially)
Elizabeth’s early resentment of Mr. Darcy is fierce. Based on her learning about his role in Jane’s heartbreak and her mistaken belief in Mr. Wickham’s story, her resentment fuels sharp judgment and a defensive stance.
Why this matters for leaders: Resentment narrows options. We blame, withdraw, or act reactively and trust erodes.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Tight jaw, dismissive tone, closed body.
✳️ Acceptance: Accepting what we can’t change
Assessment: What is, is. We might not like it or agree with it, but I accept I cannot change what is.
"Who should suffer but myself? It has been my own doing, and I ought to feel it." – Mr. Bennet
Mr. Bennet’s moment of quiet self-awareness, after Lydia's elopement, reflects acceptance. He sees clearly that he failed to challenge her earlier behaviour and takes responsibility.
Why this matters for leaders: From acceptance, we stop resisting reality and start responding. Clarity replaces drama.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Settled posture, even tone, open facial expression.
✳️Resignation: Opposing possibility - nothing will ever change and I can’t even be bothered.
Assessment: The future is fixed and bleak.
"And now here's Mr. Bennet gone away, and I know he will fight Wickham, and he will be killed, and what is to become of us all? ... We shall be turned out of the house and be destitute!" – Mrs. Bennet
Mrs. Bennet catastrophises. In the face of uncertainty, she collapses into helplessness. There is no space for action or responsibility - only doom.
Why this matters for leaders: Resignation kills innovation and morale. Possibilities disappear - not because they’re gone, but because we’ve stopped believing in them.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Slumped body, dramatic tone, shallow breathing.
✳️ Ambition: Accepting possibility. A better future is possible, and I can shape it.
Assessment: Change is possible – and I can act to bring it about.
"Till this moment I never knew myself." – Elizabeth Bennet
Elizabeth’s arc is the story of ambition rooted in self-awareness. She reflects, shifts, and ultimately makes bold choices that shape her future with Darcy, on her own terms.
Why this matters in leadership: Ambition fuels vision and initiative. It opens action and inspires others.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Upright posture, bright eyes, clear voice.
✳️ Anxiety: Opposing the idea that I cannot predict or control what will happen next.
Assessment: The future is uncertain and likely dangerous,
"Oh! I am afraid he will be taken in!" – Jane Bennet
Jane’s anxiety is soft and subtle, but present. Her fear that others might misjudge or deceive reflects a worry that the unknown holds risk.
Why this matters to leaders: Unacknowledged anxiety fuels micromanagement, avoidance, or reactive decision-making. But when named, it can be shifted.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Restless movement, shallow breath, scanning eyes.
✳️ Curiosity: Accepting I cannot predict what will happen next. I don’t know – and that’s interesting."
Assessment: The unknown is worth exploring.
"Your defect is a propensity to hate everybody... and yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them." – Elizabeth and Darcy
This sparring exchange reveals both characters moving toward curiosity. Their willingness to challenge and be challenged becomes the foundation of genuine growth.
Why this matters in leadership: Curiosity enables learning, deep listening, and innovation. It invites difference and welcomes reflection.
What we might notice in our posture and physiology: Open body, inquisitive tone, steady presence.
🧵 Coaching around moods and emotions
As an ontological coach, I don’t just ask "What happened?" – I listen for the mood in which someone is living and leading. Because moods shape perception, action, and possibility.
Some coaching questions that may help bring this into awareness include:
💬What mood are you in when you think about this?
💬What possibilities are open or closed in this mood?
💬Is this mood grounded in the present, or an old story?
💬What mood would better serve your leadership now?
💬What assessment is sustaining this mood? Is it true? Can you ground your assessment in facts?
Often, naming the mood can help bring awareness and be the start of creating a shift towards resourceful choices.
🌱 Final thoughts
This isn’t about good or bad moods, and it’s not about never being in a place of opposition.
The learning is in noticing our moods rather than being subsumed by them, and being prepared to develop our awareness and skills in emotional learning.
Our leadership is shaped by the moods we inhabit. Whether we’re stuck in resignation, trapped in resentment, or opening into curiosity or ambition, our moods are always colouring our leadership.
Useful questions: are we aware of them? And, are they serving the future we want to create?
If you're curious about how your mood might be shaping your leadership, reach out. Sometimes, a different future begins not with a plan, but with a pause, a breath, and a question.
💭 What mood am I in? And what else might be possible?
#Leadership #OntologicalCoaching #EmotionalIntelligence #JaneAusten #MoodMatters #TeamLeadership #ExecutiveCoaching #HelenWoodwardLeadership
What Jane Austen Can Teach Us About Mood, Meaning & Leadership
