🚀 “Can you fire me up into the air so I can fly?”
My three-year-old had come downstairs wearing his swimming goggles and the helmet from his firefighter outfit. He had a plan. He’d been dreaming of flying, and this morning, he was ready: ambition, energy, preparation, and a clear request for help.
It was with some sadness that I had to explain we didn’t quite have the equipment for human flight – not today. So instead, we launched bottle rockets with vinegar and bicarbonate of soda to ease the disappointment. The soaring plastic wasn’t quite the flight he’d imagined, but it was an enjoyable afternoon of discovery.
What stayed with me most wasn’t the unachievable task, it was the clarity and conviction of his request. Ambition in its raw form.
Ambition is more than a goal, it’s a mood. A powerful emotional space that predisposes us to act, to stretch, to imagine new possibilities and pursue them with vigour. When we’re in a mood of ambition, we believe in the possibility of a future that hasn’t yet arrived, and we orient our energy towards making it real.
The Opposite of Lift-Off: A Mood of Resignation
The emotional counterweight to ambition is resignation, a mood where possibility disappears. In resignation, we believe what we care about most is no longer available to us. We may have tried and failed. Or watched others fail. Or concluded the odds are stacked against us. Slowly, a sense of agency drains away.
In this mood, our language shifts. We become passive, disillusioned, sometimes cynical:
“What’s the point?”
“It’s not worth the effort.”
“We’ve tried that.”
“Nothing ever changes.”
“If only X were different…”
As Alan Sieler writes:
“A mood of resignation will dance you everywhere in language.”
That dance is sneaky. Resignation often wears the clothes of realism, rationality, or wisdom. It can even sound measured, thoughtful, and calm. But underneath, it’s a mood that quietly closes down possibility and limits our ability to act.
Moods Are Not Good or Bad, But They Are Powerful
Every mood tells us something about what we care about. Resignation can alert us to an important unmet concern. Ambition can help us stretch toward something meaningful. The real question is not whether a mood is good or bad, it’s whether it’s helpful.
A powerful reflective question is:
“Is this mood enabling me to be resourceful and take the action that will best support the outcome I care about?”
If the answer is no, there’s work to be done.
The First Step: Noticing
As the psychiatrist R.D. Laing wrote:
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change… until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”
Mood work begins with this noticing. We learn to observe our inner state, without judgement, and name it. From here, change becomes possible.
Coaching the Shift: From Resignation to Ambition
Ontological coaches support clients by tuning into the three domains of human experience:
Language – What are you saying? What assumptions or beliefs shape your words?
Emotion – What mood are you in? What future does that mood allow or block?
Body – How are you embodying your current state? What shifts in posture or movement might unlock new energy?
In coaching, we might explore:
🌀 What am I concerned about that isn’t being taken care of?
🌀 What am I telling myself about this situation?
🌀 What mood am I in, and is it helping or hindering me?
🌀 What mood would support more effective action?
🌀 What small step could I take towards the future I want?
We also pay attention to the body. Emotions live in our cells, our breath, our tension, our posture. Sometimes, standing up, stretching, or changing our environment helps open the door to a new mood.
The Language of Ambition
🌱 In a mood of ambition, people use language differently:
“What could we create that doesn’t exist yet?”
“I’m willing to stretch myself to make this happen.”
“Let’s explore what’s possible.”
“This is tough, but I think there’s a way.”
Their tone is energised. Their words point to the future. There’s commitment, creativity, and a readiness to act.
Ambition isn’t fantasy or delusion. It’s not blind optimism. It’s a grounded relationship with the future, one that’s powered by purpose.
Final Thoughts
We all move through a range of moods. Sometimes, resignation is part of the landscape. But we don’t need to live or dwell there. By noticing our mood, naming it, and engaging in practices that shift it, we open space for new actions and new futures.
As an ontological coach, I help clients listen to their own language and expand the possibilities they see for themselves. We explore the unspoken moods that shape their decisions and develop the muscle of ambition, learning to rise, and agency.
The future doesn’t begin “out there.”
It begins in how we talk about what we believe is possible.