I’ve noticed this phrase pops up in coaching, consultancy conversations and in investigation interviews. So I’m curious.
‘I would expect that’, in linguistic terms, is an assertion of an assessment: a judgment about what is normal, reasonable, or probable, but delivered and sometimes heard as fact.
What happens when our expectations and other people’s actions don’t line up?
And what exactly is being communicated when someone says “I would expect that…”?
I hear it in phrases like:
“I would have expected staff to…”
“That can’t be right, because we would have done…”
“I would expect all parents to know that…”
As a listener, I might pause, reflect the phrase back, or enquire how that expectation was communicated. And there’s an intriguing question underneath it all:
🤔 Does stating an expectation imply that agreement has been achieved?
There can be a yawning gap between a manager’s expectation and the other person’s understanding or agreement. Having an expectation does not mean it has been shared, understood, or accepted.
If we hold an expectation, the responsibility sits with us to communicate it, and communication is more than telling. It includes listening, checking meaning, and noticing what lands with the listener/s.
So what’s going on linguistically?
Drawing on John Searle’s work on speech acts, “I would expect that…” is an assertion of an assessment.
That might sound technical, but it’s a very practical distinction.
In ontological coaching, we distinguish between:
🔶 Assertions of fact (observable, verifiable)
🔶 Assertions of assessment (interpretive, value-laden, based on standards or beliefs)
“I would expect that…”:
🔶 Makes a claim about what is normal, reasonable, or probable
🔶 Commits the speaker to a judgement
🔶 Invites others to treat that judgement as credible
''I would expect that...'' sounds tentative, but we shouldn't mistake it for neutral. It often smuggles in a standard, sometimes as if it were obvious or beyond questioning.
This is why I listen really carefully for it in conversations. Left unexamined, it can:
🔷 Blur fact and interpretation leading to confusion
🔷 Create implicit standards without agreement with others
🔷 Shape decisions as if the assessment were objective truth
The impact of the phrase on listeners depends on:
🔷 Who is speaking - parent, staff, patient, child?
🔷 From what role or authority - are they more senior than us? Could challenging this be a 'career limiting' move?
🔷 Criteria or evidence cited and the credibility of it.
When those aren’t explicit, the assessment can pass as “common sense”.
How do we surface it cleanly? (Because it all starts with noticing)
Curious questions help:
❔ “When you say you 'would expect that', how was that expectation communicated?”
❔ “Is that a shared agreement, or your assessment?”
Be kind, the person speaking may not have noticed how they are using language and the implications. And if it was you that said it, be gentle with yourself whilst being prepared to Assume good intentions unless you discover otherwise.
Time for reflection
❔What expectations do you notice you’re currently holding that may not be fully communicated?
❔What standards sit underneath them?
❔Which untested expectations are most costly for trust, learning, or outcomes?
Challenging ourselves to be explicit in our language helps us take leadership responsibility and ownership of our assessments. It restores dialogue, builds trust and collaboration, mitigates risk and enables learning.
You can read more about assessments and assertions here:
Thanks for reading! 😄